Whining and Complaining

I should be talking about books, but the last one I tried to read was "Catch 22" and I got bored, and then realized that I don't have to read boring stuff any more. Instead I'm talking about films, some of which are also boring but only for an hour and a half rather than days. It seems the collective talent, genius, and monetary wealth of Hollywood can’t seem to come out with anything quite satisfactory, and I have three possible explanations.

1. They don’t make films like they used to.

2.   Good films have always been tough to find and the only reason we look with nostalgia on “the good old days” is that we only remember the really great ones (Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Hook, City Slickers) and forget about the poop nuggets  that came out that same year (Chopper Chicks in Zombietown, Hudson Hawk, Rover Dangerfield). 

3. I'm too picky.

I think the most accurate may be the last one, because we have watched three films recently, two of which have been making people swoon/ squeal with delight, and I’ve had problems with all of them. In a cheap ploy to get you to read the whole thing, I’ll start with the least surprising critique.

Divergent. We could probably write a book at least as long as the novel pointing out all of the problems, but for brevity’s sake let’s just say that the entire narrative is lousy with spotty character development and unearned payoffs. Speaking of which…

Gravity. This is an exquisitely ambitious film that baldly attempts to win all of the Oscars, and came away with eight so I guess it was a success. As far as cinematography, sound, etc. goes I suppose it earns them. I’m not qualified to comment on that to be honest, but in terms of narrative it was spectacularly boring. It was essentially 2 minutes of really annoying music and inane banter over the radio followed by 89 minutes of Sandra Bullock almost getting killed. The only part I couldn’t predict was whether they were going to go with Stephen Crane style futility or keep the feminists happy with some grrrl power, which was silly of me because first, Naturalism lost popularity somewhere in the early 20^th century and second, grrrl power has been steadily gaining popularity, though I hesitate to place an estimate as to the starting point.

We had no reason to care about (whatshername? IMDB…) Ryan Stone, so I didn’t spend any time pondering the meta reasons why she would survive.

Also, despite all of the feminine empowerment this film supposedly carries, we still get to see Bullock stripped down to her skivvies. Twice.

The Lego Movie: I know, I’m just as surprised as you. About half way through the film I said aloud, “If they just keep this up this will be the best movie I have ever seen in my life,” and then they had to show Will Farrell’s ugly mug and it was downhill from there. It would have been far less disappointing if they hadn’t already proved they are capable of delivering complex and insightful observations without saccharine sentiment and heavy handed moral badgering. They even skillfully navigate the “everyone is special just like everyone else” conundrum that nobody seems to get right, but they couldn’t find a way to show values prioritization within the familial structure without going all Lifetimey on us?

As it stands the movie is brilliant, but it was almost and could have been perfect, if not for 75% of the live action scenes they shot.