Shameless

This blog is about my journey to become a published, perhaps professional writer. It is not about going to college, but when I announced my return to school I got quite a few comments from Facebook and the highest traffic day I have logged yet. All of this positive attention might tempt me to wander off topic and talk about my personal life all of the time, but I won’t do that. I won’t casually mention that my wife just delivered our first child this morning. I won’t bore you with details such as height and weight (22 inches, 7 lbs 9 ozs). I won’t tell you what features of his are from me, and which are his mother’s (her nose & chin, my fingers & toes). I won’t tell you that he’s the most beautiful baby in the world because he’s a newborn, and newborns look a little like squishy faced aliens (there are many like him, but this one is mine). I won’t even say how disappointed I am that he lacks any of the fine physical upgrades that I had hoped for in a child (retractable claws, unhingeable jaw, prehensile tail, lycanthropy). If you want the full story you will have to go here. All I will say is that I am now a writer and a full time father, and part time student. Now shower me with adulation, Internet.

I have been attending class for all of one week, and already the words “gastric detritus” and “iniquitous cheese” have sprung from my brain into the processor. I feel like a tiny part of me has been fulfilled by writing these, and I never would have done it were it not for my return to school. I guess I’m easily amused.

Also amusing to me is my master plan for the course. Our assignments are simple; we must write four very short papers with individual prompts, invent one unique personality and “tweet” as that character regularly, and produce and perfect one short story as a final. My plan is to link all of the projects together into one long narrative, and I am terribly excited about it. Not only have I plotted out a story that can fit all of the prompts, but the Twitter aspect allows me to tell part of the story in real time. This is a story that can be told this way only once, and one that only my teacher will be able to fully appreciate since she is the only one who will see all of the course work. Even so, I am frightfully eager to tell this story to my audience of one, because it is freakin’ awesome. I’ll let you know if it works.

Also, there was a phrase from our textbook that I thought quite insightful, and has caused a bit of introspection on my part. It said, “Literature offers us feelings for which we do not have to pay. … for even good feelings have consequences, and powerful feelings may risk powerful consequences.”

That is as complete an explanation of escapist fiction as any, and wins points for brevity. Who doesn’t appreciate the delicious terror of watching the axe swing ever closer to his bared chest, especially when he isn’t the one who is strapped to the table?

I have all sorts of things to say about this, but I am really tired right now and a bit incoherent. I’m afraid I’m going to start whaling on “Twilight” again and muttering about Campbell and the mono myth, and you don’t want that. Instead I think I’ll just take a nap.